A “family friend” came by recently. She didn’t come to my apartment, she was at my grandmother’s apartment, right down stairs. She is the mother of one of my mom’s close friends from youth/young adulthood, and she has several other children as well. My mom went downstairs when this woman was here, and during the conversation, homosexuality and gay marriage somehow came up, most likely because my mom mentioned the LGBT choir group I’m a part of. The woman, mother to a gay woman herself, went on to preach to my mother that marriage is between and man and a woman and that gay people should not marry.
I was not surprised to hear that my mother was upset by this. She did not argue with her, because she staunchly believes it is useless to argue with elderly Irish women. But she came upstairs and told me how awful she felt and how she couldn’t believe that a parent wouldn’t want rights and equality for her own child. I am lucky to have a mother who doesn’t believe parenting is about forcing your kids into your own system of beliefs, but learning who you kids are and loving them for who that is. My mom is completely pro-marriage equality. She’s pro-adoption rights. When I came out, she announced it to everyone she could, she was so proud and excited. I wish she visit with the family friend had ended with my mother asserting her beliefs, but of course, that’s where we differ.
I wish everyone else had my mother, who is so loving and ready to protect me. When she hears stories of parents rejecting their child for being gay, bi, trans, anything, it breaks her heart. She would never hate me, never reject me, and never try to change me.
